Hazredous Additions
by Sunder the Gold
Summary: The collection of omake I have written for Eleventh Messenger's "Hazredous Interruptions".
1. Chapter 6 - Expert Opinions

**Set during Chapter 6 - "Moving Day", when Nanoha and friends are modifying their Devices to include the new weapon forms.**

 **This omake has been declared canon by the author!**

* * *

 **EXPERT OPINIONS**

Ruby formed a list in her head. "Okay, I've helped Nanoha, Lindy, Amy, Hayate needs to wait for some reason, and Arf. Chrono, Fate, and the Wolkenritter took care of themselves, so that leaves... Yuuno!"

"Yes?"

"Have you picked out a weapon yet?"

"Uh, no."

"And you don't have a Device, either, like Amy?"

"No."

"Okay! So we need to start from scratch! Let's go!"

"Um... Sorry, Ruby, and thank you, but I'll be fine."

"Oh... you want to do it yourself? I understand! Can I watch, though?"

"No, I mean, I'm not getting one."

"...Not getting one what?"

"I'm not going to use a weapon."

Ruby made a series of noises befitting a person being strangled before she recovered enough to use human speech. "Y-you can't _not_ have a weapon! My dad and Yang _punch_ the Grimm to death, and even they use weapons to help them do it! Zafira and Arf do the punching thing too, but Zafira is getting a new gun and Arf at least picked a chain!"

Yuuno shrugged. "Zafira has to try something different, and Arf is substituting for the chain-bind spell. I don't have Arf's muscle, so I'm doing something different."

"Yeah," Ruby said with rare sarcasm, "because 'getting eaten' is certainly different. Look, Amy didn't have anything either, and _she_ got a weapon!"

"Amy already had basic training with Bureau-issue weapons and got something to complement that. I've never really used any kind of weapon."

"...What, really? Why not?"

"Remember, I told you that I'm an archaeologist. When I'm working alone, the things I find, I want to take back in _one piece_. When that's not an option, I _call in_ the people who shoot things for a living."

"Well, you're hunting Grimm now, so you need a weapon!"

"I... actually kind of don't."

Ruby looked at him funny, with particular attention to his scalp and backside. "...You're not a familiar like Arf and Zafira, right?"

"Of course not!" he snapped, eyes blazing.

Ruby eeped and shrank back, and Yuuno immediately looked sheepish. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's a sore subject."

"No, no! _I'm_ sorry. It's just... they're the only others of your people I've seen who fight without your Device thingies."

"Familiars and Guardian Beasts are designed to function without Devices. As for humans like me... Devices cost money, and my clan..." His expression became complicated, before he shrugged it off. "We had other expenses. I just learned to do without."

"Oh yeah. You said something about 'freelance' archaeology not paying real well, or something. Not enough to hire protection? What did you do when the Grimm... or anything else came along?"

"I learned to do _really well_ without."

"...Okay. But you work for the Bureau, now? And they pay you?"

"Yes. By now I could easily afford something like Chrono's _S2U_ , but at this point I'd honestly have more trouble trying to use a Bureau-issue Device than not. A Storage Device could come loaded with stronger shooting spells than the one I know, and even a buster, but I don't have any experience with casting those, much less using them in a fight. Spells like that would also require the Device take the form of a staff, or maybe a rifle, and I wouldn't know what to do with those since my self-defense skills are entirely empty-handed. Rather than devote the time to learn how to use an all-new Device to cast all sorts of new spells, I feel that what little time I spend training is better spent improving what I already do well."

Ruby looked thoughtful. "Devices seem to come in all sorts of forms, though. Isn't there _anything_ good for what you do?"

Yuuno considered it. "Nanoha tells me that Shari is working on something called a 'Boost Device'. Something designed specifically for support-focused mages like myself. A Device that could function with the outward form of a pair of gloves, and that only magnified my spells rather than providing additional control I don't need or options I wouldn't make the time to learn... that sounds like it would be best. Whenever she figures out how... and whenever we can get back to the Bureau."

Ruby looked downcast at reminding her new friend of his current state of exile, but gamely tried to change things by getting back to the original topic. "Well, as long as you're not working at the library, maybe now is a great time to learn something new!"

"Oh, I am. I'm researching plenty about your planet's history and culture."

"But you're supposed to be a hunting student!"

"But I'm _actually_ an archaeologist." He grinned teasingly, before smiling kindly. "Look, Ruby, I appreciate it. But I'm not like the others. Amy needed a weapon. Arf and Zafira are picking up new weapons, but neither of them _needed_ them. I really don't care to learn how to use a weapon at all. I may not hit as hard as Arf, but I'm confident I can take care of myself."

"Maybe you could, if you used magic. Or at least Dust! But you're limiting yourself to just Aura, and you don't even know how to use it!"

"These Imaginary Devices _are_ pretty new to me, and I've got much to learn about them. But I might just have an advantage that the others don't have."

"What do you mean?"

He held a hand in front of his face, examining the back and palm alternatingly. "Aura lets me use magical energy in ways that I never could before, but ultimately leaves me to figure out what to do with it, without any active assistance or guidance. And like I said..."

A solid disk of light flashed between his fingertips.

"...I learned to do _really well_ without."


	2. Chapter 6 - Housing Arrangements

**Set during Chapter 6** **\- "Moving Day"** **, after Ozpin has announced the teams.**

 **This omake has been declared canon by the author!**

* * *

 **HOUSING ARRANGEMENTS**

Chrono had a horrifying thought.

"Headmaster, a moment, please?"

"Yes, Mister Hallahoun. What is on your mind?"

"What might be the particular arrangement of Beacon's dormitories?"

"Each team shares a single, four-person bedroom with its own bathroom."

"...What you mean to tell me, then, is that not only the dormitories are co-ed, but any given room as well?"

"That is correct."

Chrono swallowed many things he wanted to say. With great self-control, he mentioned, "You are aware of the fact that you have given me a team which includes not only my wife, but my _mother_?"

Lindy appeared at his elbow, smiling with gentle kindness and an uncharacteristic lack of laughter in her eyes. "As a participant in the team-selection process, I'm afraid I share some of the responsibility, Chrono. But this is the way it has to be, to best maintain cover." Satisfied that Ozpin had taken the distraction to stealthily abandon the mother-son discussion, Lindy added, "I promise that I'm not going to take this opportunity to tease you about your married life. Please remember that I _do_ have boundaries."

Chrono sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you at least mind if we hang a curtain from the ceiling?"

Lindy laughed, relaxing. "Oh, I'm sure that's a common occurrence in these academies."

Something else occurred to her son.

"I think I need to speak to Zafira."

"You don't need to worry," Lindy assured him. "I informed him while you were talking to the headmaster."

* * *

"Testarossa," the Guardian Beast beckoned, interrupting a conversation between the Hallahoun in question and Nanoha.

"Yes, Zafira?"

"Are you aware of the nature of our dormitory rooms?"

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

"Rather than have separate dormitories or even rooms divided by gender, all dormitories are mixed and all members of each team share a single room. While I know you will have little difficulty sharing privacy with Signum and Mistress Hayate, I want to know if you will want any particular accommodations regarding my own presence."

Indeed, Fate seemed uncomfortable at the prospect.

Nanoha placed a hand on her shoulder in support, and said, "Maybe a curtain?"

Fate shook her head. "Separating Zafira from the rest of the room seems unfair, and separating myself..."

Zafira finished, "You do not wish to erect barriers between yourself, Signum, and Mistress Hayate."

She nodded.

"Do not worry about inconveniencing me. I am a Guardian Beast and a Wolkenritter. I am accustomed to far more trying circumstances than this. A curtain around my own bed is no matter, and a simple team schedule with clear communication will avoid uncomfortable interactions."

"Thank you, Zafira."

"It is nothing."

Hayate, at his elbow, tugged on his sleeve. "No, no, Zafira. It's 'you're welcome'."

"But Mistress-"

"You're a big boy, Zafira, and I know you've got this 'tough guy' image as well as your honor as a knight, but I've told you again and again. You need to value yourself a little more than this. I'm happy that you're so ready to compromise for someone else, but you should stop assuming that it's no big deal because you don't matter. You matter to me, and you matter to Fate. Fate feels bad about this, so please don't downplay her sympathy."

"...Yes, Mistress."

* * *

Nanoha had wandered away from the newly-christened ZFSH, head down and thinking about her _own_ team's situation.

She had no fear that Vita and Arf could room with just about anyone in their ranks without a problem, and she was fully comfortable with both of them. But...

 _The last time I shared a room with Yuuno-kun, we were both nine years old, I thought he was a talking ferret from a magical fairy land, and I wasn't together with Fate-chan._

She and Yuuno had already had an open and frank talk, some years ago. She knew he'd had a crush on her, and even still had some feelings for her, and he knew that she only saw him as a friend and that she only had eyes for Fate. He'd accepted that gracefully, and even demanded that she not let his disappointment cloud her happiness like the dirty, contemptible gentleman and best friend that he was.

After that, their friendship had actually gotten a little easier, in some respects. She suspected it was because her friend was no longer trying to muster up the courage to ask her out on a date every time they spent time together. The realization that he'd been struggling with that for so long had shamed her, a little, and strengthened her resolve to work with Hayate on helping him meet _someone_ worthy of him.

But for now, how would she help him deal with the unfair situation of having to room with her _again_ , after all of that?

She bittersweetly figured that, if maintaining cover wasn't a concern, the self-sacrificing scholar would volunteer to sleep in a basket as a ferret again. And don't think she hadn't learned how much he'd grown to hate pretending to be a pet ferret while staying at her family's house! (Any secret shared in confidence to one member of their circle would inevitably propagate to the rest of them, in time. By now, this was an accepted fact among them, and what really mattered was how long it took and whom the secret had to pass through to get there.)

"Hey, Nanoha," Arf said, startling her.

"Oh! Arf!"

"Deep thoughts?"

Nanoha explained, and Arf nodded.

"I get it. Don't worry, I'll tell him."

"But I'm-"

"Nanoha," Arf interrupted with a tone that brooked no disagreement. "It's okay. It'll be fine." She smirked. "Why don't you just go make sure that Vita promises not to smash him to a pulp if he gets an eyeful?"

As the girl rushed off to do just that, Arf sighed.

 _Get bloodied by pirates that hit harder than they should? Crash onto an Unadministered World that screws with magic? Fight off hordes of murderous demon-beasts? Lay low among the natives? "No sweat." Bunk up the boys and girls together? "Midchilda, NOW we have problems."_

* * *

 _Omake-Author's Note:_ Vita didn't care, by the way.

As a Yuuno/Nanoha shipper, part of this omake caused me almost physical pain to write.


	3. Chapter 11 - I Was (Not) Born Yesterday

**Set during Chapter 11 - "Distractions", after Penny has met her new friends.**

 **This omake has been declared canon by the author!**

* * *

 **I WAS (NOT) BORN YESTERDAY**

"Stupendous! It's a pleasure to meet you!" Penny jumped to her feet, grabbing the blonde's hands and giving them an energetic shake. "We can paint our nails, and try on clothes, and talk about cute boys!"

Ruby lowered her face into her hands, feeling her cheeks burn. "Why must that keep coming back to haunt me."

* * *

Fate blinked down at their joined hands, before she put on a smile and said, "That sounds lovely. Why don't we have a seat and talk right now?"

Penny froze, her face falling, before she once again looked around their surroundings. Sadly, she said, "No, I don't think that's a good idea. I really should be going."

"Penny," Fate said, all business, "Are you afraid of someone?"

"Afraid!" Penny exclaimed in alarm. "No, no, no! I just don't want to get into trouble again. I've never been to another kingdom before. My father asked me not to venture out too far, but... You have to understand, my father loves me _very_ much. He just worries a lot."

"I would have said the same thing about my first mother," Fate confessed evenly.

Of course, it took no time at all for Penny to puzzle out the implications. She gasped, hands flying over her open mouth but leaving her wide eyes unconcealed. Ruby had a similar reaction a moment later, but Blake only gave her a look of sympathetic understanding, no doubt filling in some of the blanks from their earlier conversation.

"I am sorry to hear that," Penny said. "But I am _not_ being abused! My father has never struck me in anger, denied my physical needs, harmed my sense of self-worth, or threatened to damage or abandon me in any way! My only punishments for disobeying him have been, are, and would be the confiscation or restriction of recreational tools or activities, or the assignment of onerous tasks, for the sole purpose of encouraging me to reflect upon my actions. My freedoms may be more restricted than usual for a normal girl, but it was specifically because I requested it that my father and General Ironwood allowed me to come to Beacon and compete in the Vytal Tournament!"

Fate blinked. "You seem to have studied these matters."

Penny beamed. "My father _insisted!_ We studied the material together. My father is _very_ sweet, and I'm his first and only child! He wanted to make sure that he understood his responsibilities, and that I would be equipped to tell him what I needed in case there was anything he didn't understand or anticipate."

"I'm glad to hear that," Fate said with sincerity. "I'm sorry for any offense, but I hope you understand why I would be concerned."

"Certainly!" Penny chirped. "My father and General Ironwood additionally wanted to be able to reassure the world that I was being treated kindly and fairly once they're ready to share."

Ruby stepped a little closer, expression puzzled. "Wait, Penny. If you're 'CR', then..."

Penny startled with horror written across her face, as if just remembering that Ruby was there and capable of figuring out '2 + 2'. "Ruby! I- I can explain!"

Ruby's own eyes went wide, and she hastened to reassure her friend. "No, wait, Penny it's fine! I'm friends with RZ and RH and B too, and I'm still your friend no matter what! But it's true?"

Penny still seemed apprehensive. "You're sure? You _promise_ you're my friend? Even if I- "

" _Even if_ you had to hide a really big secret," Ruby said, firmly and kindly. "I understand." She smirked in commiseration. "And I know how protective worried dads can be."

Penny smiled back, tentatively, then drew herself up straight and nodded. "Then, yes. I am the first synthetic person capable of generating an Aura." She looked to Fate and Nanoha. "Or, at least I _was?_ "

Ruby inadvertently saved Fate from deflecting awkward questions by squealing in delight and grabbing Penny's hands, recapturing the robotic girl's attention. "That's so cool! Is that why you're so strong? How old are you? How do you work?"

Penny seemed uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Ruby, but I'm not allowed to talk about it. But... is it really okay? I wasn't born, I was _made_. I'm not real."

"""Of course, you're real!"""

There was some exchanging of glances between Penny, and Ruby, Fate, and Nanoha, all three of whom had protested in near-unison with varied degrees of sympathetic concern and moral outrage.

Unseen on Nanoha and Fate's scrolls, three different lines of text revealed various wireless messages sent in objection at roughly the same time. Texts from RZ in particular flew quickly by.

But even as Penny was receiving these reassurances, her new human friends continued. Ruby said, "Penny, just because you're made of nuts and bolts instead of squishy guts, you're not any less real than me." She poked her friend in the chest. "You've got a heart - and a soul! - I can feel it!"

Fate added, "Penny, there are many things I want to tell you, but I can't. But can you please trust me when I say that it doesn't matter _how_ you came into this world? You are alive and real in it, just like anyone else."

Penny's mouth twitched at the corners, until the twitch became a smile, and the smile became laughter, and she threw her arms around Fate and Ruby and hugged them tight.

Too tight. Ruby wheezed, "I can see why your father would want to protect such a _delicate flower_..."

Penny loosened her hug and stepped back, but she transferred her hands to Fate's shoulders and looked thoughtfully into the blonde's face. "Speaking of protection... Fate, I'm afraid I have to at least _ask_ you and your friends to not talk about me to your superiors. Whomever those may be."

Fate's poker face was politely neutral and guileless, "I'm sorry?"

Penny gave her a pitying look. "Fate, I know I'm young and have a lot to learn, but how many foreign hunting students at Beacon are associated with synthetic people like myself _and_ scolding Ruby about 'operational security'?" As Fate's face flushed, Penny nodded and continued. "You and Nanoha are not native to Vale - setting aside your unusual names, Nanoha's accent in particular is nothing like any I've ever heard, and I've listened to _much_ recorded media. Your records at Beacon have only been created this semester, and given the recent arrival of the _Stairway To Heaven_ , I'm assuming you're members of the refugees who arrived on it. I'm already surprised that someone other than my father could create three other people like me, and _he_ needed General Ironwood's support with the resources of Atlas; how could a colony in the wilderness achieve similar results? More than likely, you're agents for a faction in Vacuo or Mistral which is operating at such a level of secrecy that General Ironwood never suspected you existed."

"Uh..." Fate desperately tried to think of a way out of this, but she was hampered by thoughts of Signum laughing at her for this catastrophic blunder.

"I understand that you need to report your findings and this breach of security to your superiors, but please understand as well that I'm obligated to share the breach of my own security as well as my own findings to my father and General Ironwood."

"Uh..." And now she was imagining _Chrono's_ reaction.

"Unless," Penny said, looking to the sky thoughtfully. "I suppose I could be _persuaded_ to forget this meeting ever happened, so long as General Ironwood never learns about it from any other sources, and so long as RZ, RH, and B are permitted to remain in wireless contact with me. I'm not allowed to _talk_ with anyone here at Beacon, but the General never specified anything about _texting_."

"Yeah," Fate muttered, as her traitorous friends tried to stifle their chuckles, giggles, and laughter. "That'll be fine."

"Wonderful! Now, I'm afraid I really _must_ be going! Have a marvelous day!"

As Penny skipped off, humming a merry tune, Fate brought her scroll up and put her thumbs to hasty work, typing out the same question to Reinforce Zwei that she asked outloud of Blake:

"What will it take to keep this little incident quiet?"


	4. Non-Canon - Meeting of the Minds

Written after Chapter 29, set in an indeterminate, theoretical future, and intended to be merely plausible rather than canon. Therefore, NOT canon and unlikely to ever be.

* * *

 **MEETING OF THE MINDS**

"If you don't mind me asking, my dear, are you really my new assistant, or do I need to start writing a letter of condolences to her family?"

"Please, Doctor. My father and I wouldn't dream of spoiling the mood of your meeting with pointless murder. Doctor Scaglietti abhors a waste of life. Your government authorities will find your assistant sleeping peacefully in bed in her own apartment, under the influence of a harmless cocktail. Even if no one looked for her, she would awaken by tomorrow morning feeling well-rested."

"Well, that is a relief. I suppose I should be thankful that your remarkably efficient means of transporting us from my laboratory and onto this ship contributed to your mercy. Hardly any need for deep-cover infiltration when you can bypass so many security measures with your exfiltration."

"Oh, Doctor Polendina, you wound me."

"I wonder. But for the time being, my dear, what do I call you?"

The young woman entered a few more commands into her pilot's console, and then got up from her seat to face him where he sat in a passenger's chair. Fluidly, her features and even clothing seemed to flow like water as they settled into an entirely different appearance. Even the length of her hair and the dimensions of her skeleton changed. The only constant was her gender and the warm smile on her face.

"I am Due, second of my father's daughters."

"An unusual name, for a young lady with unusual means and a very unusual air ship. Or are we perhaps in a submersible vessel?"

"My name means 'Two' in a language as foreign to your world as this ship."

He gave her an askance look at the end of her sentence, but addressed the beginning instead. "Hardly seems like a suitable name for a lovely daughter."

"It may seem that way to you, as I imagine you wished to treat your own daughter no differently from any other girl, but my father was denied that choice. It also appealed to his particular sense of humor, and being named in the specific language that I am is more flattering than you have the context to appreciate."

His hands clenched the arm-rests of his chair at the reference to Penny, but he maintained his facade with effort.

"My darling little girl deserved to be named after a beautiful color, and I have always had a fondness the tone of copper that her hair turned out to be. I'm glad to hear that some affection went into your own name, and sorry to hear that you might be in some trouble?"

"Your concern is appreciated, Doctor, but please, don't concern yourself with my family's circumstances. Today is supposed to be a happy occasion where my father hopes that you and he will get to meet someone whom, he feels, can truly understand him."

"And why is that, Miss Due?"

"Surely you have begun to suspect, Doctor? That there is at least one other man in the world who decided to build his own daughter?"

A gentle impact rippled through the ship before the man finished thinking of a response.

"Ah," she said with no surprise whatsoever. "We are here."

She walked over to a side hatch, which opened automatically for her. She stood off to the side and politely motioned him out. He waited a heartbeat, but could see no other reasonable course to take.

At the bottom of a ramp was a taller, much younger man in the traditional white coat, smiling like a child at a birthday party. Flanking him was a robust woman with a noticeable family resemblance despite the severity of her expression and her guarded, protective bearing.

But 'Doctor Scaglietti' hardly seemed to care about any feelings of caution from either side, as he rushed halfway up the ramp to grab and shake his involuntary visitor's hand like a celebrity's. "Doctor Thomas Polendina! Welcome, welcome to my home! It is a rare honor to entertain a guest as esteemed as yourself! Please, come this way! Hurry, I have so much to show you!"

As the older man allowed himself to be led along like a grandfather humoring his grandson, he said, "The mastermind behind my abduction wishes to share his secrets with me? Truly, very little about this kidnapping scenario is how I imagined it would be."

The man laughed with unrestrained delight. "Oh, Doctor, please! Do not think of this as a kidnapping so much as a surprise party! I have no intentions of interrogating you or holding you here against your will! You'll be home by the end of the day if you wish, but I am betting you'll soon accept my invitation to stay at least the whole week."

"The confidence of youth. The clamor caused by my sudden and inexplicable absence will be horrible enough after just one day. My superiors would be quite a nuisance if I were stay gone an entire week without notice. Though I am grateful that your daughter gave me sufficient warning to place my work on hold before she plucked me out of the premises."

"Ha! Well, I was quite clear with Due that she was only to interrupt you at the least inconvenient time. Of course I understand how vexing it is to be pulled away from one's work at a critical moment. But worry not that your absence will go unexplained: I had Due leave a note."

"A note."

"Yes. 'Borrowing my colleague for a week, or a day if he needs to return sooner. - Jail Scaglietti.' Or at least, that's more or less what I scribbled out myself. No doubt Uno touched it up a bit, as she does when I'm rushing too much for formalities, but I hope she still left it brief and uninformative enough for the sake of the joke. Ah, we're here."

"Here" was a large room that reminded Thomas very strongly of his own facilities for servicing his dear Penny's particular needs. That particular sense of "Doctor Frankenstein" to which he, as the metaphorical Doctor in question, had grown so accustomed as to forget, leapt out at him in the ways that this very different room and set of equipment nevertheless seemed strikingly like that one. He imagined this was something like what his assistants must feel upon entering his own laboratories...

Or perhaps not, because he doubted they would feel quite the same stirring inside. The sense that, whatever else Thomas felt or would decide about Jail Scaglietti, perhaps they truly were cut from the same cloth.

"Hello, Doctor Thomas Polendina," greeted another young woman, much thinner and a little older than the one following with Due, but whom looked like she might be Scaglietti's sister. "Please forgive the Doctor his enthusiasm. You might not be able to imagine what meeting you means to him."

"As she says," Jail agreed heartily. "Please forgive my terrible manners. This is Uno, first of my daughters and my Number One assistant."

He shook the lady's hand, saying to her, "Yes, Due spoke of your father's sense of humor."

Uno rolled her eyes playfully.

"Uno! Due!" Jail cried theatrically. "You betray me?! But also, let me belatedly introduce my third daughter, Tre. Tre, please do forgive me for neglecting you earlier."

"I'm more concerned that you neglected your own safety, Doctor," the woman complained. Her handshake was strictly professional, but gentle enough despite its firmness.

Jail clapped his hands. "Well, that should be all the pleasantries out of the way, yes? To business! Let's go see how Sette is progressing."

* * *

Before someone finally found Scaglietti's note, a second one had materialized next to it.

 _"Tell Penny not to worry, I am having a lovely time,_

 _We are creating a revolution, promise to be back in_ _span style="text-decoration: line-through;"_ _two weeks_ _/span_ _span style="text-decoration: line-through;"_ _a month_ _/span_

 _I'm on vacation."_

* * *

 _Author's Note:_

Can't figure out how to put strike-through back on "two weeks, a month" above. WHY is that option given in the new document creator and taken away in the editor? Makes as little sense as denying the line-break option in the document creator.

* * *

 _Rejected Draft (Omake of Omake)_

(The point of this was for Jail to let Doctor Polendina see with his own eyes that the Numbers were truly cyborgs, by revealing their inner workings. I scrapped it when I realized that just showing the incomplete forms of Sette, Otto, Dieci, Wendi, and Deed would get the point across far more powerfully.)

Jail clapped his hands. "Well, that should be all the pleasantries out of the way, yes? To business! Tre, dear, please strip for diagnosis."

"Doctor!" she protested.

Thomas spluttered, "Now see here! I have tolerated quite a lot today, but this is unseemly!"

The younger man seemed confused. "What is the matter?"

Uno stepped forward diplomatically. "Doctor, it should not be necessary for Tre to full disrobe for diagnostics this one time. I have prepared some suitable undergarments for Doctor Polendina's sense of propriety."

Simultaneously, Due was holding a whispered conversation with Tre that the taller woman clearly didn't like, but nevertheless conceded.

Understanding lit up in Jail's eyes as Uno led Tre behind a taller section of equipment. "Oh. Ohhhh. My apologies, Doctor. I honestly cannot recall the last time anyone besides my family has been in our personal facilities. My standards of privacy have grown lax."

"Ours as well," Due added. "Be assured that Tre was not protesting out of embarrassment or humiliation, but rather that she takes her job very seriously, and dislikes letting her guard down with a visitor present. It's nothing personal, either, but simply how the Doctor made her."

Jail sighed. "Your criticisms are as subtle as they are incisive, Due. I promise I will make it up to her later."

She smiled at him.

Thomas became aware of a dangerous relaxation threatening to overtake him in the face of this genuinely familial atmosphere. He was beginning to see too much of himself, and Penny, and his own assistants in this dubious band than was wise for maintaining a healthy sense of caution.

Uno and Tre returned, the former with the later's bodysuit folded and hung over one arm, and the later clad in a tank top and pair of shorts loose enough to de-emphasize her curves. She was still scowling faintly, but her posture showed not the least bit of shyness.


	5. Non-Canon - Jail's Research Log

This omake comes not from me, but from a fellow fan of 'Hazredous' Interruptions, Eleutherius. In fact, it served as the inspiration for my own, earlier omake, and Eleutherius has given permission to have it included among my own offerings.

It, too, is set in an indeterminate future for the story, and therefore is not canon.

 **JAIL'S RESEARCH LOG**

Progress on the new base camp was more than satisfactory. While most of his followers were still completing other work and not yet able to join him on this particular expedition, Jail had brought enough automated resources to keep things moving even with just Uno and Tre. Rather, their long practice in such matters had actually left them ahead of schedule. Jail had promptly dumped responsi- _delegated_ co-ordination of the drones to Uno and began prepping his lab. While researching the planetary interference field was ostensibly the priority, the preliminary reports on the unusual lifeforms rampant on this world had piqued his interest. As such, Tre had departed an hour ago with orders to seek one or two of them for dissection. With any luck-

"Doctor, I have returned." Tre entered the room dragging a hovering freezer unit of a size that gave it a perhaps unfortunate resemblance to a coffin.

An easy grin came to Jail's face. "Ah, excellent work. Please move the subject directly to the operating table, I'd like to begin immediately." After an uncharacteristic moment of hesitation, Tre opened the freezer. What she withdrew was a much smaller container (A small part Jail's mind noted the emblem on the side. Was that an actual _shoebox_?) rather than the bestial corpse the doctor was expecting. Upending it over the table, a pile of black material resembling ash plopped unceremoniously down. Improbably, (even more so, given the freezer it made the trip in) it appeared to still be steaming.

Silence reigned for a very long moment as Jail considered the matter at hand and Tre studiously failed to meet his eyes.

"...Did this specimen manage to offend you somehow, Tre? Even with my knowledge of your capabilities, I'm drawing a blank as to how you could have possibly reduced your target to such a state. Rather, I'm quite impressed by the creativity you must have shown to get this kind of result! I'd love to hear this story!"

Tre shook her head once as she regained composure, then explained. "I didn't overdo it like that. The creatures in question all began disintegrating upon death. The first I killed by crushing its chest. I tried again by aiming for the head on the second and using general blunt force trauma on the third, but the result was always the same. I recovered what remains I could and returned. These three were originally of the lupine variety, so I'll try a different type on my next trip."

Jail nodded and responded absently as his mind turned its attention to the new puzzle before him. "Yes, hopefully this is a response specific to this species, but if not we'll need to take measures for live capture instead. This could become a bit more complicated than I'd anticipated, but that just makes it all the more interesting, yes? Try your luck with two more species, but if they crumble in the same way we'll have to rethink our approach." Tre nodded acknowledgment and excused herself even as the doctor began his work on the samples she'd managed to retrieve.

* * *

 _Native Life Research Log_

 _Entry One_

It seems this will be a longer term project than initially expected. Analysis of the subjects is heavily hampered by a natural(?) self-destruct process that leaves nothing but a largely inert black ash. Even those remains are temporary, as persistent evaporation even at low temperatures eventually saw to its loss. It is likely that live study will be necessary to make further progress. More when Tre returns.

 _Entry Two_

My earlier concerns were well founded. Tre was able to kill a set of both avian and ursine specimens, but they too fell apart immediately. Sample acquisition is on hold until Uno and I can remodel our facilities for our new needs. How disappointing. I suppose I'll switch my efforts to the interference field while I wait.

 _Entry Six_

Finally, we can move forward! Tre succeeded in subduing a few of the lupine creatures, and all the restraints in the lab are holding with no sign of strain. I'll begin the dissections at once.

 _Entry Seven_

That was equal parts frustrating and intriguing. It seems the bulk of the creatures are made of the inert ash from before, even while they are still alive and mobile. This, naturally, makes no sense at all. There are nearly no internal organs to speak of, aside from something at the locations where the heart and brain would be on more mundane creatures. Any damage to either and they disintegrate immediately, with the creature following suit. Analysis has been slow do to these unfortunate factors, but already the data is pulling in contradictory directions. The internal design of these creatures seems far more like that of a mana construct than a biological being, but for their clearly material nature. Their observed behavior is also baffling. Their internal structure suggests they subsist off of ambient mana, which this planet has no shortage of. Instead, they have been seen hunting and eating despite having no digestive tract at all. Were they once more mundane beasts, still showing vestiges of their previous existences? Are they artificial beings with odd emulation patterns? All my speculation at this point is both wild and unsupported, but I'm enjoying it all the same. What a stubborn mystery indeed! I can hardly wait until I know more!

 _Entry Thirteen_

Progress on this project has stalled. Try as I might, I cannot wrest any more secrets from the core organs of the beasts with the equipment available to me. Even the slightest intrusion and they fall apart. My theories are leaning towards these creatures being artificial, as this reeks of security measures. I suppose I'll just table the matter for now. Once my resources are wider, I'll re-open the file.

 _Archive Name Changed:_

 _Grimm Research Log_

 _Entry Fourteen_

Wonderful news! Due has made it away from her previous assignment and re-grouped with us here on site. She's already been inserted into the general populace of this planet and sent back important basic information on "Remnant". I was concerned about what sort of resources would be available on this planet, but it seems I overlooked something unexpected. The mana infused dust that comes together in this interference field is used by the locals in all sorts of codified and esoteric ways. I'm quite hopeful looking into this will provide me with my needed workaround for advancing my investigation of the Grimm.

 _Entry Seventeen_

Success! While the machine might be a horrible kludge, I've managed to rig up something to modify local temporal conditions. With any luck, I'll be able to slow the self-destruct progress of the cores long enough to get some real data out of my next dissection. Uno has pointed out that this also has a chance to disjoint the Beowolf's sense of time and increase its suffering by about three orders of magnitude, but I'm at least eighty percent sure they don't feel pain anyway. I'll know better after this next test.

 _Entry Eighteen_

Partial Success! The latest operation provided an enormous amount of data, but I still can't make sense of most of it. I still don't really understand the data on how the heart and brain operate, nor have I broken the encryption on the brain's output. However, even if I can't make sense of where it's coming from, I -can- understand what the heart unit is producing. As such, a mechanical analogue can be constructed. I will begin at once!

 _Entry Twenty One_

Haha, now we're getting somewhere! Using the Grimm Heart I constructed, I've been able to prevent decomposition on severed Grimm extremities. Furthermore, continued analysis on the brain has reached the point where I can issue basic commands to various body parts. With the two together, I was able to remote pilot a Beowulf paw from one side of the lab to the other. Next, practical application!

 _Entry Twenty Six_

My first proof of concept tool built on the Grimm research is based on the Grimm's well documented attraction to negative emotions. With that knowledge I've built what I suppose could be described as a bad-day detector. It's still very rudimentary, but when building from something so basic as triangulation it hardly needs to be complex. It simply uses three points of detection to highlight the direction and approximate range to the nearest source of negative emotion. Uno has raised the point that it is alarmingly morbid, but I hardly see how that could matter.

 _Entry Twenty Seven_

It seems Uno's concerns were quite relevant. One of Due's contacts, a man in a very nice white suit, was overseeing a delivery today when he saw me testing my new creation. The mere sight of it made him highly disconcerted, which naturally made the unit react to him. Seeing the reaction only made his nerves worse, and in no time the detector was useless for anything but finding him. Some refinement is clearly necessary before I can call this invention complete. Perhaps if I cover the Beowulf heads?


End file.
